A Celebration of Racial Diversity - Email Gem of the Week
For the love of all that is holy, let’s get over ourselves! Aren’t we sick of the media discussion over who made what racial comment and what it means to whom? It is not news that there is racism in America or anyplace else in the world for that matter. We all bring our own baggage to the table. Our own perceptions and our own experiences shape stereotypes that do exist to varying degrees of accuracy in virtually everyone.
If we would all lighten the hell up about it and learn to laugh at ourselves (and others) without offense having to be taken, guess what would happen? The real racists, the people most of us can agree to despise, equally even - would have no power at all.
On that note, in celebration of Racial Diversity, here is the Email Gem Of The Week:
WHITE WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.
JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You get terrific head.
Second Date: You get even more great head.
Third Date: You tell her you’ll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don’t even get to the third date and you’ve already realized nothing is ever going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She’s pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
Second Date: She’s pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father’s girlfriend’s mother, her two cousins, her sister’s Boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.
ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire arab community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead.
No third date.
Irish Women FTW!
March 21st, 2008 at 2:57 amI agree, we all need to learn to laugh at ourselves, as individuals, as ethnic groups, as hetero & homo sexuals, and every other box you put yourself in.
Check out: http://nextthing.wordpress.com/2008/03/17/stuff-educated-black-people-like/
It made me laugh
March 21st, 2008 at 3:03 am[…] Pajama Journal: For those who are not quick to offend, celebrate racial diversity with the PJ’s comic comparison of relationship experiences by race. […]
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